The Power and Perils of Networking

I have initiated a new strategy of networking. I like to think of it as anti-networking. I am not actively looking for people who can advance my career. So I am sure I will meet them. I am not looking for potential clients so I am sure they will find me. I have decided that it is best to help those we meet and share what we can regardless of profit.  To those of you who are in business, this may seem a little odd.

It started with a LinkedIn inbox full of spam. It continued with one-sided emails and messages from business contacts. Everyone had a sales pitch and a form letter but I didn't. So I thought to myself, "How can I connect with these people?" So I sent a few random emails to contacts that I don't know that well. I like to reintroduce myself and say hello or ask how someone's day is going.  First I received two angry emails asking why I would contact them and what I was selling. People who spammed me were angry because they thought I was selling something. I suppose I should have seen those emails coming. In our high-paced information age, people who take the time to say "Hello" are suspicious. I took a deep breath and kept emailing. Anyone who knows me will comment on my persistence. Sometimes its a blessing and sometimes it's a curse. 500 emails later I decided it was the former. I had primarily positive reactions.

Most of those I had contacted were amicable if a bit confused by why I would say hello or offer to help them with no mention of a price for the service. I suppose they will get over it as we get to know each other. I don't help start-up businesses because of the money. I help because I can and I should. I don't meet people or help people only for my sake. I do things that I love to do and I help people to do what they love.

I wonder why others haven't latched onto my anti-marketing marketing scheme. It's the oldest that there is. I do not concern myself with the number of people that I reach. I would rather reach one person who I can actually get to know than add a thousand online 'friends' that I don't know. That is the difference between social networking and spam.

As many of you---hopefully all---of you know, we live in a world built on relationships. Building these relationships is key to advancement. It is also tantamount to happiness. Strong relationships whether business or personal are the things that keep us going in good or bad times.

In light of this, I find it strange that so many people pass up opportunities to connect. There are those who expect to find happiness, fame, success, or any other positive aspiration in life without taking the time to build relationships. Everyone we meet from the time we wake up until we go to bed each night is important. Each person is a potential customer or a friend of a potential customer. Each person has some knowledge to contribute no matter how small.


On LinkedIn, Facebook, and countless other sites we focus on the networking and forget the social aspects.  When you are too focused on your bottom line it's easy Each person you connect with, friend, or follow should matter to you. If they don't...you should examine what the word "network" means.

net·work  (ntwûrk)n.

1. An openwork fabric or structure in which cords, threads, or wires cross at regular intervals.

2. Something resembling an openwork fabric or structure in form or concept, especially:

a. A system of lines or channels that cross or interconnect: a network of railroads.

b. A complex, interconnected group or system: an espionage network.

c. An extended group of people with similar interests or concerns who interact and remain in informal contact for mutual assistance or support

Each thread in any fabric is individually weak. Without structure a garment is just scraps of cloth and a network is just a bundle of wires. A system does not function when it's nodes do not. A group of people are not truly a group without communication. Without contact we have accomplished nothing. Amassing countless friends, contacts, or followers is meaningless if you don't know them. You have not connected with them and they have not connected with you.

Take the time to talk to your barista, your mail carrier, your barber, your bartender, or a stranger in the grocery store. Share a little positivity. Give a little. Offer your advice. Tell a joke. Just smile. Send an IM or email to say hello. It may or may not pay off in the short term but in the long run, what can it hurt?

“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of a candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”-Buddha